Lay report #11 – Brazilian Biologist

The Brazilian girl I had spoken about in my last report hooked up with me on the third date. She was 33 years old and had only slept with one other man in her whole life.

I had stopped her on Wednesday afternoon as me and Mr. R were exploring downtown Vancouver. She looked at me twice and smiled as she walked by. I told her later on that I had approached her for that reason, but surprisingly enough she could not remember doing that. It just shows that her giving me IOI’s was happening on a subconscious level. She was a little shocked when I jumped in front of her. In Brazil it’s probably very suspicious when someone is running, because the crime rate is a lot higher. So naturally a girl who has lived there her whole life will be a bit frightened. I managed though to calm her down quickly by smirking and talking in a low and slow voice. Her English wasn’t great, but she knew what I wanted. She had only been here for a week and had come to Vancouver to study English for six months.

I got her number and started texting her the same evening. She replied immediately and was giving good signals. I went for the date request and invited her the next day to a cafe close to my place, but she insisted on meeting closer to hers in Yaletown. I wasn’t going to argue, as I kept in mind that sometimes you have to lose a battle to win the war.

I hadn’t dated a girl in that area yet and didn’t know to which second venue I should take her, so I decided to scout the street just before the date. I found a bar called Tavern at the New Oxford just 50m away from the cafe. It had some nice couches on the second floor on which I could later on get closer to her.

I ran through my standard dating model and routines and she was getting more and more comfortable. I had to make sure to talk very slowly and translate a lot on Google for her to understand what I was talking about. For that reason this date definitely was a new experience. It helped me understand how unimportant the things I say really are and how big the impact of tone and body language are. I had to make two attempts at kissing her before she went with it. “It’s a mans job to try and a womans job to resist” is always a good line to show non reactiveness. After that I just kept talking as if nothing had happened. Unfortunately she wasn’t even close to getting on a bus or in a cab with me that night, but she did text me after the date saying how much she had enjoyed it.

The next day she initiated the texting by writing that she’d be done with her class at 2 pm and was asking if I’d like to do something. I set up a date for 3 pm and said I would take her to Granville Island. We met at a crossing close to my Air Bnb and I showed up with a shopping bag to have an excuse to go back to the apartment. I tried kissing her at my place, but she wasn’t comfortable enough, so I made a move to leave and go to the island.

We spent about an hour at the port and food market and watched the ships and seagulls. At one point, as we were walking through the market, a lady stopped me and pointed at the Brazilian girls coat. There was bird shit all over her hoodie and she hadn’t noticed it. I laughed and carefully made her realize what had happened. At first she was a little upset but then calmed down, maybe because I acted so cool about it. After cleaning her coat we grabbed some coffee and sat down outside under a covered sitting area, carefully watching out for birds. I had placed my coffee on the table and was talking about something while making wild gestures with my hands when I accidentally knocked my cup over and hot coffee spilled all over my jeans. We both laughed and I accused her of having a terrible influence on me.

I walked her back to the apartment and said I wanted to show her something on my laptop. We made out on the couch and also on the bed, but she would always pull my hand away when I would start exploring her body. After about an hour I gave up and she soon left my place. The same evening she texted, asking if I’d like to do something on Sunday and because I was a little bit frustrated that I hadn’t gotten much further I replied “maybe ;)”.

I had a very informative Skype session with Tom the following morning and I asked him what to do about this girl. He told me that because of her age and the fact that she knew that I would be leaving soon I was triggering ASD (Anti Slut Defense). What was holding her back was basically the fact that her sleeping with me could turn out to be a one night stand. The cure: A lot of comfort and future projections. By telling her that I really liked Vancouver and that I could see myself coming back again she wouldn’t have to be scared of not getting to see me again.

Via texting I had arranged that we would meet up at the cafe she had chosen and then drive back to my place to do some “cooking”. Really I had just bought some frozen vegetarian pizza which I would quickly heat up. The venue she had picked was closed and I teased her of not being able to plan a date properly. We went to Starbucks instead and sat around a bit before hopping on the bus. I was in an  extremely non needy mood because of the lay I had gotten the day before. We just relaxed on the couch, cuddled, ate pizza and watched an entire movie before I pulled her into the bedroom. I still had to do all the leading, but this time there was no resistance. For the first time since I had approached her I was allowed to see her gorgeous athletic body. She was very shy and inexperienced, not what one would expect from a hot 33 year old Brazilian. Going down on her wasn’t an option, because she was too embarassed – little did she know what she was missing out on. We both really enjoyed the sex and I could tell that she hadn’t been fucked since she had left her boyfriend a year ago.

We met up once more yesterday evening so I could say goodbye – for now. First sex at my place, then we grabbed some ice cream and finally spent an hour at the beach. The sky was pitch black and we watched the city lights reflect on the ocean as we cuddled and showed each other affection while sitting on a giant bolder. I am always amazed at how fast two human beings can build up an emotional connection, even if it’s just temporary. It really makes life worth living.

 

10 thoughts on “Lay report #11 – Brazilian Biologist

  1. Great blog man.

    I also started daygame last year and doing some work with Tom. I’m currently in Vancouver so it’s cool to see someone daygaming with some fun results here in the chilly spring time.

    What did you find helped you most with flaky numbers? I’m still working hard on making the sets longer and keeping attraction going until they hook. I find I have a tough time reaching the hook point in general and I run out of things to say after a bit, even with some practice. But persistence is key for sure 😉

    Cheers,
    Alex

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    1. Hey Alex, good job on getting into daygame! Believe me when I say that Vancouver felt like paradise in comparison to Calgary! Man, it’s still -12°C here…
      What really helped me the most, by far, was Tom’s video series daygame dynamo. Watch the videos on stacking and vibing and take notes (really important). Watch daygame 3.0 in which he tells two vibing stories, one story about her country and one story about her job. Learn those stories, they have helped me so much! Eventually you will come up with your own stories, but in the beginning you need to have enough material to reach the hook point. If you still run out of things to say, call it out: “Well this is random, I’ve stopped you and now I don’t know what to say anymore!” Often the girl will help you out, if she is attracted.
      Buy Tom’s book “How to flirt with girls”. There are a lot of great lines in there that you can use for stacking too. If you want to take it really far, then get a job as a door to door salesman or charity fundraiser, like I did. I have spoken to thousands of people on the street and have learned to not run out of things to say. Don’t be lazy Alex, you need to put in the work!
      Keep on hustling!

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  2. Thanks for the reply!

    Yea, Calgary is freezing from what I hear dude. It does constantly rain here though, makes you want to do more indoor game.

    I’ve actually watched both his videos and learned those stories. However, just as of recently i started using elephant in the room “well this is random, ive stopped you and now i dont know what to say anymore” and got my 2nd date with it. (i’ve done 150 approaches this year and 2 dates so far – poor results but 38 numbers was a high flake rate! brutal at times. ) I’ve actually had 2 coaching sessions with Tom and can tell i’m getting better but ever so slowly so i’ve been trying to put work into it.

    How many approaches do you usually do in a set? One issue could be is i can never manage to do more then 5 approaches in 2 hours. I still have AA and can’t seem to approach more girls in a set. What do you think?

    Taking a little break now because my date didn’t go as planned. Do you have any dating tips or things you would think could help? I’ll try to describe my date best as i can here (Not much of a date, i day-gamed a younger shy asian girl. She doesn’t drink and lives with her parents 1.5 hours away from home) She was however cute and 21 and i’m 29 so this was a win to get the mini date. She had time after 9-5 work in downtown vancouver so we met and i did deep rapport for about ~30min. Made sure to verbally spike about her previous bfs, what did she like about me, what’s her guilty pleasure/celeb crush. I did physical stuff with palms and tans line. She did say she liked that i was direct and did ask me the same questions back – so she was interested.
    Towards the end of the date – i said “we should do dinner and movie at mine, i can cook some dishes and you can pick a movie) I asked what films and food she liked so i thought i seeded the date? Anyways, she was silent…and after maybe 8 seconds i just changed the topic quickly haha

    Tom told me not to do any PDA (public disply affection i believe?) and i actually planned not to, i agreed with him. she was a shy-er younger, lives with parents, asian girl. She felt shy often times i felt like…and it was interesting. maybe the date was a bit plain with lack of energy at times from myself as well. I did try my best though and without having a drink it was different for me at times. I want to date more to get that experience because i am sure im missing something there but not sure what? I’ve only had 1 lay out of 5 dates i believe. Last year i discovered game in Aug and did 100 approaches as well, just thought id mention that.

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    1. When I was in Vancouver it rained a lot, but I made no excuses. Just grab an umbrella and get out there!
      If you are having trouble with the number of approaches, maybe you aren’t setting yourself a timer? I usually do ten approaches in 90 min, 120 min maximum. It sounds like you still have massive anxiety when it comes to doing a direct approach. Take a step back and do a session with Tom’s Audio Coaching, just to show yourself that ten can be done in 90 min! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I16fPtas3jc
      Also, look for a wing on http://www.theattractionforums.com/ and on http://www.simplepickup.com/forum/
      Two dates for 38 numbers really is a high flake rate! Are you “forcing” the number? If you don’t reach the hook point in your sets, your numbers will keep on flaking. What kind of girls are you approaching? Only 7s, 8s and 9s? Be realistic and maybe lower your standards. Ask yourself what your current sexual market value is and approach girls that have a similar one.
      Try adding a second venue into your dating routine. This makes the girl feel like she has known you for much longer than if you just go to one place.
      As far as I can tell you really just need more practice on dates, which means that you need more girls coming out on dates. So really you need to do more approaches. I started game in July last year and have now done something around 600 approaches since then. Volume, volume, volume…. Yo know yourself that you should be doing 30 – 50 approaches a week, so do it! Daygame is unfortunately the kind of thing you need to make your priority number ONE if you want to see results. Don’t make the same mistake I did and only treat it like a hobby. Clear your schedule and dedicate a specific time on three of four days a week to doing daygame, and make no excuses.

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  3. I daygame about 3-4x a week and clear out 2 hours currently, under any weather condition so it’s not a problem. I do set the timer but i find i always need to do 3-4 hit runs and then do a real approach. Since my job involves trading, i’m always logical in my days so it will take some time. I have a very high stress/demanding job on the side so sadly I can’t do much more then that.
    I would say on average i am approaching 7’s but I go lower and higher. My SMV isn’t really a issue according to Tom and most. I’m 5’9, 150lbs and in good shape/fitness wise. I dress quite well if i I need too so I’ve addressed all those issues and it doesn’t seem to be that. I think it is still the vibing part with some AA
    Agree about the dating! I need more girls to go out on dates so i can get better – I’ve def forced many, many #’s not reaching hook points haha. That is by far my current struggle and need to get better about. For that date, i had no option for a 2nd venue because it was limited time. (i have only had 6 dates TOTAL however from cold approach pickup) so im still learning.
    I’ve gamed with a wing and yes, i find it’s wayyyy easier to approach and we challenge ourselves – although daygame is a solo sport so i’m pushing hard to do it by myself and not always call up my wing. I really like to go into coffee shops, grocery stores, book stores – everything i can to challenge myself as the street/mall is easier then those.
    600’s great – I would say since August I have done about ~275. I’m not counting my last year – so i just wanted to start fresh this year with new numbers/results.
    A goal of mine now is not to go for the number unless im certain i have been in the set for a while, i know how to deal with closing/opening and shit tests. It’s still the AA and hitting up more sets in 90-120min. The most i will hit is 6-8 and avg 5 like i’ve said before it takes a huge toll on me mentally.
    Tom told me during coaching I’m doing everything well but of course the very important vibing part of phase that is the hardest.
    Thanks for talking by the way! Most wings here are heavily into night game and it’s not my cup of tea (I wake up at 7-8am every other day for my job) and loud places aren’t my thing. I think some people pick it up more naturally of course and others like myself, it’ll take some more time.

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    1. Apparently I’m not able to edit my post 😦 but just wanted to say it’s good to discuss this with someone else who is quite actively daygaming! You seem to be doing well.

      How do you manage to pick yourself up after poor interactions or perhaps date? Is there ever a time where you just don’t feel like it or take a week or 2 off? As a introvert it is mentally draining personally at times and something I am still dealing with.

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    2. I would challenge you to go on more instant dates to get positive reference experiences.
      Also, maybe consider getting into a social job, even if it temporarily means earning less money. Since I’ve arrived in Canada I have been fundraising for charities. Stopping strangers on the street is something I now do for five hours, five days a week. This job has not necessarily taught me much about pickup, but I have learned to approach anybody, overcome any fear of rejection and build rapport with any person I talk to. The combination of daygame and fundraising has changed my personality in tremendous ways. And just think about it, the girls I stop when I’m fundraising are usually willing to give me their phone number! All I have to do is close strong after I’ve done my charity pitch. Because I’m flirting and building rapport with them throughout my charity spiel, they are often attracted by the time I’m done. Any form of a sales or fundraising job would be a solution to your problem of AA.

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  4. Yup, something I have been doing is shooting for more instant dates. Funny enough, both times I went on them I never received a message back from either one which makes me doing more will be helpful!

    I don’t think the social job is a option for me at the moment but I will have to just keep putting in volume. Thanks for the youtube link to Tom’s audio infield daygame. The warmup should help me and to have a voice for me inside of being in my own head will do some good. If you ever visit Vancouver again (summer time is quite sick) let me know!

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